We’ve all heard, and probably believe, that opposites do attract. But do those relationships last? I can tell you from personal experience that every time I dated someone who was technically “my opposite” it eventually ended. What ended up happening is that the very things that turned me on in the beginning i.e. the new and different things about him that were so “unlike” me ended up irritating me beyond belief and I found myself wanting him to change, to be more like me. Yikes, now that’s not good. But just because it didn’t work for me doesn’t mean that it won’t work for others. Part of the thrill of dating someone who is your opposite is that he is she has the Ying or Yang you have been missing and that is a turn on. However, please don’t misconstrue that chemistry for love. Everything is wonderful in the beginning, that’s why it’s called the “honeymoon phase.” So even those pesky little habits your love interest does like leaving all the drawers or doors open all of the time can be so “charming” initially but literally drive you batty later on. So after extensive research, and interviewing couples, this is the lowdown on opposites attracting and lasting in relationships and some pertinent questions you should ask yourself before committing to a relationship with someone who is different from you in many ways.

Are the differences between the two of you significant or insignificant? Obviously the fact that one of you may leave the drawers or cupboards open is probably not a significant deal but let’s say that one of you is a devout republican and your partner is a devout democrat (and political views are extremely important to you) then this would be a significant difference. Is the relationship worth adjusting to these different views?

Do you find yourself arguing with your mate over your differences? Sometimes a little playful taunting of differences can be fun but let’s fact it, an argument is an argument and if you are going head to head with your partner over the fact that you hate sports and can’t stand the fact that he loves sports, then you will have a rough road ahead of you in this relationship.

Are your values consistent with one another? Two people can appear to be opposites based upon their personalities or even hobbies but quite honestly for a relationship to stand the test and turmoil of time the values of the couple really need to be the same. That is what you hold on to when life throws those relationship curve balls at you.

If you’re not willing to change, don’t expect him or her to. All relationships require compromise and if you aren’t willing to make concessions for the sake of your relationship then you can’t expect your partner to. For example, if you both have a favorite hobby such as wine tasting and going to the lake every weekend and neither one of you wants to compromise with give and take on the weekend then it’s just not going to work. You can either figure out a way to do both, or agree to do your hobbies alone. But don’t expect your partner to give up his or her favorite pastime just because it isn’t yours. If you do then you are just asking for resentment and a mountain of problems.

Diversity can continue to add spark to a relationship just make sure that what created the “spark” initially doesn’t end up making you crazy in the end.

Please share any thoughts or feedback with our readers!

So it’s a Friday night at Albertsons and I’m picking up a few dinner items after work when I notice to guys looking worriedly at the rows of flowers on Aisle 11. I feel for them because one is trying earnestly to help the other pick out the right “bouquet” for his date, tonight of course, and they really have no idea what they are doing, but they do look very concerned. And why you ask? Well because they know that we women have “flower rules” and most guys are aware there are rules, but don’t have any idea what those rules are. There is a lot on the line. So I go over and offer to help without being asked and they graciously accept my help. I give them a quick crash course in the meaning behind the flower given to a girl, and the do’s and don’ts when it comes to girls and flowers. As they listened attentively, and even appeared a little perplexed, they received the information and made the appropriate choice which was a bunch of wild flowers (perfect for a first date). Since I realized the information might be of benefit also to our male readers that information will now be shared with all of you guys out there who have been, or will be in the position at some point in time, lost in the flower section of Albertson’s on a Friday night:

Let’s start with the most common flower given on a date, the rose. The red rose sends a message alright. In pure basic terms a red rose says that you love her and have serious intentions regarding your relationship. If you don’t feel this way, skip the red rose, seriously. The deeper the red the more love and romantic the message.

If she is only a friend then the yellow rose is much more appropriate. Plain and simple, the yellow rose sends a message of friendship.

A white rose signifies purity and innocence. Both yellow and white are perfect in platonic relationships, however, a yellow rose can sometimes indicate a more serious friendship than a white rose.

A word on carnations — almost the same rules apply as the roses. Red signifies romantic love, yellow and white kindness and friendship (thinking of you) and white is purity (unless combined with others in a spring bouquet.

Daisies and wildflowers are perfect for a new relationship. They are bright and beautiful and signify the start of something new and fresh.

You really can’t go wrong with tulips, or orchids, however, the girl or guy (especially a girl) will know that you spent a nice amount of money on her if you send her a bouquet of orchids so keep that message in mind.

One last word on the presentation of flowers. Sending flowers sends a different message than delivering. If you are in a serious relationship then by all means send or deliver your girlfriend or wife flowers. But, if you are just “pals” with no intention of taking the relationship further, avoid sending your girl flowers. Women work with women, and women talk about everything. The first thing women say when another women gets flowers at work is “Oh my god, he must LOVE you!” so if you don’t want to send that message, then don’t have your flowers delivered

As always, please share your thoughts or ideas and experiences with our readers!

We have given you tips on getting the date, getting the second date, how to recover when it doesn’t work out and much, much more.  I’m going to talk with you now about how to recognize when your guy really doesn’t want to commit to the real-deal, long-term, possibly headed for marriage relationship.  I feel qualified to discuss this topic due to my education and professional experience but truly because of my personal experience with a guy who at times can be called “Peter Pan” because he just isn’t ready to grow up and a different guy who at times can be called “Fabio” because his life comes across a bit like a romance novel.  Think in terms of romance novels – “Harlequin Romances” typically show “Fabio” on the cover.  Peter Pan is perpetually a boy and Fabio is in love with being in love.  Do you know these guys??  Don’t get me wrong, both of these guys are charming and really wonderful in their own way.  It is possible to be seriously involved with either of them and feel and believe you are in a long-term, committed relationship.  They are both capable of loving and remaining faithful.  But, do you hear yourself saying “he has so much boyish charm” or “he is just a hopeless romantic?”  There are just some signs (some subtle and some not) that can tell you he isn’t looking for or isn’t ready for the real-deal, long-term, possibly headed for marriage relationship.

He rarely uses the words “we” or “us.”  He is more independently focused.  He might be “Peter Pan.”

His place still looks a little like a dorm room despite the fact he has been out of college for over 5 years.  He might be “Peter Pan.”

He does not have a savings account.  He might be “Peter Pan.”

He has never even considered getting a dog, starting a retirement plan, or purchasing a home – all things that require serious commitment.  He might be “Peter Pan.”

His idea of a vacation is a group of friends all going to The River or to Vegas to do some serious partying.  It would never occur to him for the two of you to go for example on a romantic weekend wine tasting or skiing.  He might be “Peter Pan.”

He shies away from conversations that are about your future together or anything you might ask along the lines of “so, where do you see us headed?”  To this question the most you might get is “I love you and we are having so much fun together, isn’t that enough?”  You might tend to feel like you are in a holding pattern.  He might be “Peter Pan.”

He showers you with affection and gifts from very early on in the relationship, even before it is a relationship.  This can be flattering, but ask yourself “is this over-kill?”  He might be “Fabio.”

He tells you he has fallen for you, you are his soul-mate and he is in love with you after a very short time dating, like after only dating a few weeks.  He might be “Fabio.”

He quickly comes up with pet names for you, again, after only a few weeks.  He is driven for this connection to be special just a little too quickly.  He might be “Fabio.”

When discussing your relationship history, you find out he has had several fairly long-term relationships, all back-to-back and he was “in love” with all of these women and still gets teary-eyed when thinking back on special moments with them.  He might be “Fabio” and a little creepy I might add!

There are a multitude of special songs, places, foods, phrases, jokes and types of wine that he says he now only associates with you.  Once again, these connections developed extremely quickly and are given more attention than aspects of the relationship that might indicate depth and substance.  He might be “Fabio.”

Keep in mind that one of these characteristics does not a “Peter Pan” or “Fabio” make.  Typically, a true “Peter Pan” or “Fabio” has several of these traits.

Have you dated “Peter Pan” or Fabio?”  Please share your comments!

We don’t really need to know “why” men and women tend to communicate differently in relationships all we need to know is that they do, and for the most part both genders can say essentially the same things but in different ways.

For example, take “Sarah” and “John” (names changed for obvious reasons). Sarah and John have been dating for a few months and Sarah asks John a very common girl question “How do you feel about our relationship?” John is a little confused by the question he views as pretty broad and answers “I feel fine.” Now Sarah becomes irritated with this response because she feels that he didn’t really answer that question and she replies by asking John “Other than just fine, how else do you feel about US?” Now John just views this question as a repeat of the original question and wonders why she didn’t like his first response. He assumes maybe he just chose the wrong word so he now replies “I feel good about us.” Now John is satisfied with his response but Sarah is irritated and now John is confused, and both of them are now frustrated.

If this situation sounds familiar you are not alone. It’s pretty common for men and women to miscommunicate when it comes to describing their wants, feelings, and possible feedback with their partner. In Sarah ‘s case she needs to understand that most men need to know more specific information, ie. the bottom line. Sarah’s question is very broad and only another woman would completely understand it, but not a man. What Sarah is really asking is “Do you see a future for us? Do you feel like you are committed to this relationship on a long term basis or are you thinking that this is as serious as it is going to get?” But John has no idea that Sarah is asking all of that in her one question so really he answers the basic question without reading between the lines, which is “I feel fine.” For guys there is nothing between the lines, and that’s the bottom line.

In addition, if you ask a guy “So what are you thinking about?” you will probably freak him out because in truth he is probably thinking about something random and doesn’t want to say that because he knows you are asking for a different, more profound response, and he doesn’t have one. So just avoid that question altogether. You probably want some kind of answer that sounds like “I’m thinking about how happy I am at this very moment with you.” When relationships are going well guys don’t talk about “how good they are going” they only speak up if there is a problem; judge his “thoughts about the relationship” by his actions. When guys are happy in a relationship they really don’t talk about it, so his silence is a good sign, it’s golden. Women are the opposite; we talk about almost everything so if you are thinking “you are happy at this very moment with him” then say it.

So in Sarah’s situation, or really for any women it would be wise for her to break down the questions one by one and then ask each one individually. Allow for your mate to think and process it before moving on. Keep in mind that the bottom line is what you want to stick to otherwise you may overwhelm him with talk about feelings, and not everything needs to be discussed in one relationship conversation.

In John’s situation, or for any man talking to a woman about feelings, the relationship, or possibly any serious content related conversation try to listen with your heart. What this means is that even though there may be a problem presented doesn’t mean that your mate wants it fixed. Just listen empathetically and allow her talk and maybe even vent. Venting, for guys who don’t know this, is a common way that women just open share their thoughts and feelings without wanting to resolve anything. The resolve is just allowing oneself to speak openly and have another person listen without judgment or problem solving. It may be helpful, if a guy can’t tell whether or not he is needed to provide a solution, if he asks his mate whether she is venting or wants help problem solving.

Hopefully these are some helpful guidelines for all men and women in relationships speak more comfortably with one another with more understanding of the differences and similarities in both sexes.

Nothing says awkward like running into your Ex while with your current date or significant other.  Typically after a break-up we imagine running into our Ex and cringe at the thought.  I think you would agree that you generally hope you won’t ever run into them and are able to dodge that bullet.  Take heart, this is often the case.  Although I have continued to live in generally the same area for a number of years it has been rare that I have run into an Ex.  When we entertain the idea of running into an Ex and you were the dumper, you might imagine seeing your Ex and feeling guilty and compelled to have a longer conversation than desired.  If you were the dumpee, you might imagine the worst case scenario where you tearfully try to get answers to those unanswered questions.  You shutter at the possibility of either of these situations.  Men and women alike secretly hope or even fantasize that if we do (horror of horrors) run into an Ex that we look amazing, are incredibly successful and appear to be having a fabulous time doing whatever we happen to be doing either with a fantastic new main squeeze or an equally fantastic group of friends.  Back to reality friends, this is outside of your control.  You could run into an Ex at the grocery store, at the gym or any number of places.  The odds increase if you live in the same area and it is a small town and the odds decrease dramatically if either of you have moved or you live in a fairly good-sized city.

Here’s an example of running into an Ex that didn’t go very well.  This is based on running into my husband’s ex-girlfriend.  My husband and I were boyfriend and girlfriend at the time, dating for about 3 months.  We were out for a run on a weekend morning with another couple.  Walking toward us on the path was my boyfriend’s Ex!  I saw them make eye contact and my boyfriend stopped.  I hesitated, my boyfriend made no reference to me, looked uncomfortable so I kept going and caught up with our friends.  I did not know her but it seemed pretty obvious she was an Ex.  A few minutes later my boyfriend caught up with us and said that was his Ex who happens to live very close by.  Needless to say my boyfriend was caught off guard, the Ex was extremely uncomfortable and it was just plain awkward.  Later that day, my boyfriend received a voicemail message from his Ex verbally blasting him, accusing him of cheating with me while they were still dating!  This was completely untrue but clearly she was still upset about the break-up.  My boyfriend had not behaved badly but did in fact end their relationship and she was hurt. 

So, you ask, “What do I do if I run into an Ex?”  We have some tips for you so you can feel prepared.  We cannot guarantee how your Ex will behave, that is outside of your control and of course ours.  You do however have control over your own behavior.

Be the first to say hello.  If you were the dumper this will speak to your integrity.  If you were the dumpee you will come across as confident and strong.

If you are with a date or significant other, be sure to introduce them right away.  It’s not necessary to say, “this is my new girlfriend (fill in name)” simply introduce them by name.  I’m sure your Ex will be able sort this out on their own.  If your Ex is with a date, be sure to acknowledge their date.

Keep the conversation brief.  This will reduce the awkwardness and the risk of stirring up old feelings such as anger or sadness.  Do not bring up old issues!  There is no point – more than likely if you have run into your Ex unexpectedly you are not in an appropriate place to have such a conversation anyway.  If you or you Ex are with a date/significant other, we hope this goes without saying, but most definitely, a long discussion is out of the question.

When your Ex asks how things are going in your life, share something positive.  Make sure it is true because getting caught in a lie will only be humiliating later.

Whatever you do, be sure to remain calm. Do not flip out, scream, cry or yell.  This will only leave you feeling embarrassed later.  And, talk about awkward if you or your Ex is with a date/significant other!

Have you run into an ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend?  What was your experience?  Please share!

So this is my first hand recap of a little bit of dating history and mistakes I’ve made throughout my entire life of dating. I did have to learn the hard way, unfortunately, but ended up exactly where I wanted to be, in a happy and loving marriage to a wonderful guy. But the road wasn’t easy and I’m here to help all of you girls or guys out there try to avoid the same mistakes or “roadblocks” I couldn’t avoid.

Mistake #1. In one of my somewhat-serious relationships I convinced myself that I could change “Mr. Right” if I tried hard enough. Because I thought I knew him better than he knew himself and I also believed that we were “meant to be” then even if he put forth the effort I was bound to make it work (after all, we were meant to be right?) WRONG. We weren’t meant to be because “to be” eventually ended. He became tired of me trying to “better-him” and we had the dreaded conversation of “it’s not you it’s me” sigh.

Mistake #2. Was he cheating, I didn’t think so. Who was I kidding, of course he was. But somehow I convinced myself he wasn’t. I had my suspicions, and went so far as to verify them by accidentally looking through his briefcase where I of course found a card from a woman who was clearly more than a friend. Yes I did confront him, kind of, and he had a plausible explanation, which I really can’t remember but seemed to satisfy me at the time. The second and third times were less satisfying and eventually it ended, sigh.

Mistake #3. Even though he said he didn’t want a commitment he didn’t really mean it. After all, doesn’t he feel the way I feel, our connection, our soul mate “vibe.” Well, he did mean exactly what he said and shockingly our non-committed relationship slowed slipped away.

Mistake #4. He started to pull away and I wasn’t sure whether we were breaking up or not, so I fought harder to hold on. By the way, this just does not work. I think it’s a natural phenomenon that when you feel like you are losing something or it is being taken away we cling on harder even if it’s something we may not really want. The problem is the harder we try to hold on the more that force “or guy” pulls away. In addition, in this specific relationship I waited for closure when I wasn’t going to get any. I didn’t get the message that the reason he wasn’t returning my calls (every time I called him) or the feeling of being blown off was his way of actually breaking it off with me. I figured that unless he actually said “Yes I am breaking up with you?” then we weren’t breaking up. I didn’t want closure, but I felt like I needed it in order to move on. Well it was closed I just couldn’t get it through my head that closure was not something I was going to get and I just needed to get over it and him.

Not to stereotype guys but many guys won’t actually give a girl closure which is what most girls want when it looks like a relationship is doomed. We can’t figure it out “Why doesn’t he just tell me that it’s over??” Well, if he doesn’t then you trying to probe it out of him isn’t going to give you any closure either; you just have to realize that his “avoidance, distance, etc. is indicative of the end. If it walks like a duck then it is a duck and it’s walked away and that’s then end of it.

Well those are some of my most consistent and memorable relationship mistakes that I do recognize and have learned from. I’m sure there are more but thankfully I don’t remember all of the mistakes I made

Have you heard the term Serial Monogamist?  No?  This is an important term for you to understand if you are in the dating world because this style of dating and relationships could really get in your way if you are truly seeking a healthy, long-term relationship.

According to Urban Dictionary a Serial Monogamist is “A descriptor for a person who has commitment issues but does not engage in cheating or infidelity. A serial monogamist likes the emotional and physical intimacy of relationships and therefore seeks partners who want a long-term romantic relationship. A serial monogamist may or may not warn their partner about their fear of commitment. (Often the partners foolishly believe they will be able to change this about the serial monogamist.)
The relationship may be short-lived or it may last a few months to years, however the serial monogamist is always holding back and if the other partner in the romance pushes at all, the serial monogamist will end the relationship swiftly and often without emotion.”

According to Wikipedia Serial Monogamy “is characterized by a series of long- or short-term exclusive sexual relationships entered into consecutively over the lifespan.”

I got my education about this type of dater when I encountered and subsequently dated a Serial Monogamist.  When we met he was very engaging and actively pursued an exclusive relationship with me.  In retrospect, I realize he was very focused on our relationship becoming exclusive fairly quickly.  We did date exclusively for about 5 months at which point it became clear we wanted different things.  I was interested in the relationship naturally progressing forward and he wanted it to stay sort of frozen.  We parted ways and I came to find out this was a pattern of his.  He really liked the idea of a relationship and felt more comfortable in a relationship versus single.  He wanted the easy, fun aspects of a relationship but not the deeper commitment.

Is the answer yes if you ask yourself “am I a Serial Monogamist?”  Would you like to change this?  We have the guidelines and tips you need to move away from Serial Monogamy.

Get comfortable being on your own and stay away from phrasing this “alone.”  You are enough!  Getting involved with someone is not to complete you rather another person is to complement who you are.

Are you now questioning who you are without someone else?  This means it is time for you to get to know yourself.  Tune in to what makes you happy and how you like spending your time.  Try something new – take a class, go hiking, get involved with the community and figure out your “thing.”  This will also serve the purpose of creating opportunity to make new friends.

When a relationship ends take stock of why it didn’t work out.  Forgive yourself for the mistakes you made and perhaps learn a little something from your Ex (see our previous post from earlier this month).  Be sure to give yourself time to grieve and heal before moving on to another relationship.

Slow down!  When you are ready to date after a break-up, take your time.  Don’t jump into an exclusive relationship with the first person you meet.  This is not a race to the finish line, nor is it about quantity.  Relationships are about quality and it takes time to establish if you have encountered quality in a new dating interest. 

Are you or do you know a Serial Monogamist?  Please share your experiences!

We probably can’t talk enough about online dating especially in this day and age of electronic communication. Time is valuable and if you want to date better then your time is precious. That being said we have more red flags for you to look out for while you are looking for Mr. or Ms. Right in the cyber-world:

If his or her bio picture looks “out-dated” i.e., clothing might be from the 80’s or 90’s then it is. The same goes for the same picture over and over again. We know that if there is no picture posted then we definitely recommend moving on but we also don’t want someone who has the same picture, or variation of, throughout his or her profile. If you only see a head shot, then what is she or he hiding?

If he or she talks only about what the want in a person versus what they can bring to the relationship then you are in for someone pretty self-absorbed. However, be wary also for the online dater who is full of questions for you but no information about him or her. This can appear to be flattering but it can signal someone who doesn’t want to tell you much about themselves, maybe because they are actually “attached to someone else.”

To the ladies out there: If he hasn’t asked for your phone number and called you after four emails (5 at the most) then blow him off. You are wasting your time with “email guy” if he isn’t worried that another guy will snatch you up and therefore clamoring to get your phone number.

Steer clear of the “winks” but no actually written conversation. If you are just getting a wink then skip him because chances are you are one of many getting winked to. This also applies to the email that reads like a form letter. If you get an email that says something like “Hi! I saw your profile and was intrigued. Tell me more about yourself” then you are probably one of many who are getting someone’s standard intro form letter. Yes some online daters create standard letters to send to multiple people (kind of like fishing) and you don’t want to waste your time, especially if they aren’t spending time to create a personal email that shows interest in you.

If he says he is just looking for a “friend” then move on. No one who is using an online dating service is looking for an actual friend. People make friends elsewhere rather than through a dating service. A guy who says that he is looking for just a friend is using code for “I just want to hook up with no strings attached.”

If you have any additional red flags to share with our readers please do!

We’ve talked a lot about what it means to be in an exclusive relationship, how to have that conversation about “not seeing other people” and being in a committed relationship. However, there isn’t a lot being said about “open relationships or non-exclusive relationships” and the standards that help make them work versus fail miserably. Let me clarify the differency between “casually dating” and a “non-exclusive relationship.” Casually dating is what people do usually when they first meet one another. During the dating process inevitably two people will either gravitate closer together or apart if it’s just not working out. At some point down the road the conversation “to be exclusive or not” needs to occur for the casually dating couple to graduate into an actual relationship or the relationship will end. Not every couple wants to have the committment of exclusivity based on their beliefs or situation in life but regardless that dreaded conversation about “what are we?” has to occur.

Believe it or not many people do have non-exclusive relationships that work out quite well for them and most of those relationships at least work in part due to standards and expectations that are discussed and respected throughout the relationship. Generally these are the Do’s and Don’ts in making your relationship work.

Don’t make assumptions. First of all don’t assume that your relationship is exclusive if you haven’t had any type of conversation about “not dating other people.” The reverse is true; if you haven’t talked about it then it’s best to assume that your mate may be seeing other people. If you are okay with that situation because it gives you complete freedom to do what you want when you want to without question then you don’t need to say a word. If you aren’t then it’s time to speak up and be honest about what you want in your relationship.

Don’t try to make your partner jealous. This can easily happen anyway and is very common in relationships that are not based on fidelity. Jealousy is something you will have to deal with anyway in a non-exclusive relationship and it can be really tough. But if you are trying to make your mate jealous then you are needing something else from him or her and it’s better to examine that than to sabotage your relationship.

Be honest but be discreet. Yes you can be honest but also respectful when it comes to sharing too much information. It’s crucial that both you and your partner are honest about the fact that you both can date other people but you also don’t want to rub your partner’s face in it. For example, don’t give a show of public affection with your date of the evening at a restaurant that you and your partner frequent as regulars.

Always use protection. Yes it goes without saying that everyone should practice safe sex but lack of protection is a deal-breaker in a non-exclusive relationship. If you know that your partner can or is seeing other people and is non-monogamous then both of you need to agree without question that condoms are required, always, no excuses.

Make sure that you both agree on what you expect and want out of the relationship and that you are being honest not only with your partner but first and foremost with yourself.

If you are in or have been in a non-exclusive but serious relationship please share your story with us. As always please feel free to post any comments as well.

When it comes to marriage, there are so many opinions out there; it is hard to determine what is a reasonable view and expectation in the context of a long-term relationship.  What I’m talking about here is when it makes sense to discuss the possibility of marriage.  When is too soon and when does it become something you are trying to avoid?  The answer to this is influenced by several factors including but not limited to age, gender, ethnicity, family of origin and society.  Contrary to popular belief there is not a set timeline on this one.  There are however several aspects of you and your relationship that it is advisable to consider and review prior to taking this big step forward with this person who is currently your one and only.

Remember, marriage is truly a life-altering decision.  It is important you are ready for that as an individual.  It is also important your relationship is ready.  Although there is no set timeline that must be followed, I believe prior to considering marriage these are some basic areas worth evaluating:

1. Ask yourself “could I survive if this relationship ended?” I know this seems like a strange question since the subject here is marriage, but what I’m getting at is “do you feel self-sufficient?” or are you looking for someone to “complete you?” If it is the latter, I recommend you back off of the marriage idea for a while until you feel you are a complete person on your own. Marriage should be something you desire versus something you have to have or you won’t survive.
2. Experience each season of the year with someone – you will see how you both function at different times of the year. You will also go through all of the holidays together. These are great ways to get to know each other on a deeper level and have some true life experiences.
3. Go on a vacation together of at least one week in length – this is a wonderful way to get to know your partner over an extended period of time. You will get a better idea of each other’s day to day habits. Typically some small stressful moments come up in a vacation like getting lost or having a delay at the airport. Seeing how your partner handles such mishaps can be really telling for the long-term.
4. Meet one another’s families – no, you are not marrying his/her family but family is where we come from so get to know them and see how you feel around his/her family. How does your partner get along with his/her family? Is there tension? Are they close? Whatever you experience be sure to explore it with your partner so you get a clear picture.
5. Face a significant challenge together – how well do the two of you work together? Who takes the lead? What is the natural flow when there is an obstacle in life? Does your partner face it head-on or does he/she withdraw? Can you depend on one another for support? Probably good to know since over a lifetime of a marriage there are many challenges!
6. Discuss your morals and values with your partner. Do they line up? No? This could be a major problem down the road. Have enough discussion about this to feel confident you are on the same page and can continue or perhaps come to the conclusion it is better you call it quits.

You have checked all these off of your list?  Okay, then you sound like you are ready to have some initial conversations with your partner about marriage!