Just wanted to update you on the situation. I did as you instructed and sent a text asking if she was feeling better and if she wanted to reschedule our date. She called me back but I missed the call and left a voicemail saying; that we will have to hold off on the date for now because she has been dating another guy too but hasn’t been exclusive and she doesn’t quite know if it is going anywhere yet. She said if I had any questions to call her back wished me a good day and apologized.

I called her back (she answered!!! I was expecting to leave a voicemail, it would have been easier and less nerve wracking) and said that I understand her situation and thanked her for being honest and sincere about it and that I know it can be hard to be up-front in situations like this. I told her that for the record if this guy doesn’t know after the first date with a women like her that he wants to be with her then he is crazy. (she laughed a bit) I continued on through her laugh because I was nervous and wanted to say what I needed to say. I told her that I knew I was going to love her personality even before the first date and that I had a blast with her. I told her to let me know because I would take her out again in a heartbeat.

She didn’t hardly get a word in because I moved from point to point, but i figured this was my chance to put it on the table… what else are we going to talk about after her voicemail anyway until she knows how she wants to continue

I would guess that she is either going crazy really wondering how the other guy feels about her or is relieved to not have to worry about me anymore. So we will see.
Did I handle this well could I have done anything better? What would you advise for a future encounter with her as I am likely to see her again on sunday in church (where we met). I think that I could play it cool around her still but am not sure.

Once again thanks for your help and insight,

Look for something to link you back to that moment in order to both, help them remember you, and you them. “I like the perfume you are wearing…” or “Wow can you fit anymore books in that bag?” Then introduce yourself and start having a casual conversation. (Where are they heading, anything interesting happen to them today, how has their day been, etc.) Try and see if you even want to make contact with them again!

If you find that you enjoyed your conversation with the person chances are they did also so offer your number or get theirs. Tell them when you will call them or let them know the best times to reach you and stick to it!

Contrary to what others say leave a brief voicemail including how you met and for them to call you back. If you get no response then just move on and don’t fret if they like you they will call you sooner or later.

Sometimes if I am sure that I will see them again, I try to make our conversation as interesting as possible and not exchange numbers at all. I have found this creates a sense of confusion for them. Why because humans like to be certain. They mistake this confusion as intriguing which is a very good thing for you. You leave them with a feeling like this didn’t end quite how I expected… “shouldn’t he have asked me for my number?” (it has been quite interesting) Then next time you see them mention how you really liked talking with them and you need to get their number.

I would love to republish this on WE Magazine for Women at http://www.wemagazineforwomen.com. We are a business and lifestyle digital magazine for women.

Thanks,

Heidi Richards Mooney, Publisher