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Thank you so much for visiting our site, reading our blog and posting your comments.

We at yourdatingplan.com enjoy writing for you as well as reading your posts. We want to make sure the posts are informative, helpful and provide you with some laughs. Let’s face it, when it comes to dating and relationships sometimes you do just have to laugh!

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Wishing you happy dating and successful relationships!

The Your Dating Plan Team

Keeping a Bluetooth plugged into your ear at all times.  Basically this will cause you to appear like you believe you are so important that you can’t even unplug while you are socializing.  This will be viewed as a negative because it sends the message that whatever the incoming call is it is more important than talking to the one you are with.  Dude, take it out and leave it in the car!

You wear too much cologne.  A light, pleasant scent is absolutely a turn on but an overpowering cloud of cologne will cause girls to back off.  You want her to notice your look and your personality not just be thinking “I can hardly breath near this guy.”  When it comes to cologne, less is more.  The rule of thumb is wear just enough so that in order to smell it she needs to be within arms length not across the room.

You primarily talk about yourself.  Whether you are already on a date or meeting someone for the first time allow equal time for your date to share something about her.  Ask her some questions and give her time to respond.

You have done everything she has done but better.  Really?  A “one upper” is not attractive!  More than likely there are some things that you are good at and some she is good at.  You are not (contrary to what is in your head) better at everything.  Be secure enough so you are okay with her having strengths you don’t have.

You go into teacher mode.  Women do find it sexy for a guy to give a few pointers on something he is good at that perhaps she is trying for the first time.  Being shown in a helpful (not patronizing) way the best putting stance or tennis racket grip is great however treating your date like a lesson where you are constantly teaching, evaluating and providing an over-abundance of constructive criticism is not sexy.  If a girl wants a lesson she’ll hire a pro!

You check out other girls while you are chatting someone up in hopes of getting her number and maybe a date.  Seriously?  We can see you looking around!  This sends the message that you really aren’t that interested so more than likely she is going to turn you down.  Make an effort to focus and make eye contact.  If it doesn’t work out then move on to someone else.

You take the grunge look to the next level.  In other words, you look like you need a shower and your breath leaves something to be desired (i.e. a mint).  Take the time to shower and look and smell presentable when you go out.  A little stubble on your face can be sexy but unwashed hair not so much!

What are your top turn-offs?  Please post your comments!

Let’s face it, women can be complicated and downright fearful when it comes to figuring out what they want, that is for men anyway. But when it comes to impressing a woman, we are hear to help you make some extra points to keep you in the game.

Be a gentleman. Open the door for her; help her put on and take off her coat. Ask her if the music you play in your car is something she likes or offer to change the station if not; offer her your jacket if she’s cold, etc.

Stay well groomed. A man who takes care of himself is appealing and appears more confident. Stay clean shaven (doesn’t mean you can’t have facial hair, but keep it tidy), smell good, press your clothes, etc.

Try to talk about your feelings. This will make you stand out in the crowd because many guys feel uncomfortable talking about their feelings and then avoid the conversation completely.

Don’t drink too much. If you can’t be around her without constantly sucking down the alcohol she will notice and will either think you have a problem or will take it personally, neither or which is good.

Impress her friends. When you are all together be interested in talking to them, getting to know them, and being social with them. Be engaging and interested in what her friends have to say, and add a little charming to that as well. A man who appears to really like a woman’s friends can be a keeper.

Compliment her. Be sincere and genuine in your compliments, and respectful of course. Compliment her on her sense of humor, her choice in clothing and the way it looks on her, her intelligence, her overall personality. Say things like “I really like “that” about you.” (Fill in the “that” with a descriptive adjective of your choosing),

Treat her with respect in private as well as in public. Treat her how you like to be treated or better. Remember that your goal is to impress her not your friends.

Ask yourself “what is triggering these feelings of jealousy?”  Identifying the root of your worry can prove to be helpful.

Ask yourself “do I have hard evidence to support these feelings of jealousy?”  This may help you to see that your feelings are irrational and not based on any facts.

Has someone cheated on you in a previous relationship?  If so, this may be what is leading you to be suspicious of your current mate.  Please don’t punish your current mate for the sins of a past mate!  That’s not really fair is it?  Work on letting go of that past experience so you can enjoy your current relationship.

At the time that jealous feelings come up do what you can to contain yourself and not act on these feelings.  Rather than accuse your mate of something they probably aren’t doing focus on the positives about your mate.  Do the opposite of what a jealous person would do.  Through this process your jealous feelings will decease in intensity and you will be more able to see the situation rationally.

Improve your feelings about yourself.  Often jealousy comes up due to someone feeling “not good enough” for their partner.  Focus on your strengths, what you bring to the relationship and avoid comparing yourself to others.  The better you feel about yourself the more secure you will feel in your relationship. 

How has jealousy gotten the best of you?  How did it affect your relationships?  How did you overcome the situation?  Please post your comments!

You feel happier or relieved when you AREN’T together.  If you like you’re alone time so much that on any given day you would prefer spending time alone than together, or you’re trying to find more and more reasons to be apart, then it’s time to move on. And, after you’ve been apart for a few days due to time with friends etc. and you’re not looking forward to seeing your partner, then you might want to rethink your relationship.

If you feel constantly unhappy day after day.  Relationships have their ups and downs but the key here is that there needs to be at least some “ups” that are currently occuring (not just in the past) that warrant you to stay; otherwise end it sooner than later.

You find yourself frequently finding things “wrong” with your partner. New things keep popping up that bother you about him or her out of the blue and you can’t get past them.

Your partner decides to cheat. We use the word “decides” intentionally because contrary to excuses given, nothing ever “just happens.” Trust is very difficult to regain and in this situation you really need to consider how badly you want this relationship; is it worth all of the work and heartbreak and is it fixable?

Your partner’s “unfinished business” or baggage is significantly affecting your relationship. That ex should be long gone but your partner just can’t seem to cut the ties and signal to his or her ex that their relationship is over.

You are fearful of your partner and have been threatened or physically or emotionally abused.  If this is happening then it is time to leave this relationship and don’t look back.  You should never be with someone you are afraid of or is so disrespectful toward you that he or she is abusive.

Some of these sound pretty black and white and some are a little more subtle. Ending a relationship is never easy but staying in a relationship that isn’t right for you isn’t any easier, and life will pass you by if you let it, remember that you deserve better:)

]]> http://www.yourdatingplan.com/blog/?feed=rss2&p=2007 http://www.yourdatingplan.com/blog/?p=2004 http://www.yourdatingplan.com/blog/?p=2004#comments Thu, 05 Apr 2012 21:46:01 +0000 admin http://www.yourdatingplan.com/blog/?p=2004 How people meet can take place in so many different ways.  There are the traditional ways like through a friend, at work or in a bar and the more non-traditional like online dating sites, chat rooms or Facebook.  There continue to be more and more scenarios in which you could meet a potential date.  Eventually however regardless of how you have met there is the initial face-to-face first date.  This experience can be very exciting and fun but it can also be down right anxiety producing especially when you are trying to figure out “is this going well?”  I’m sure you have thought to yourself “how can I tell if this date is really going well?”  We are going to give you some signs to look for that will clue you in if this first date is likely to lead to date #2. Keep in mind this isn’t an all-inclusive list.  There are probably other signs that a date is going well.  These are our top 7 signs a date is going well. Please feel free to share what it is you look for that tells you a date is going well.

This first sign tells you a date is going well before you even go on the date.  You feel some excitement or “butterflies.”  This is telling you that there is already a potential connection with this new person and perhaps a bit of a spark that you can feel leading up to spending time together.  Very positive sign!

You are making good eye contact with one another on the date.  Its clear there is interest and you are paying attention to what he/she is saying.  If you are having drinks or a meal together you are both leaning a little bit forward toward each other.  This shows you are both engaged in the date.

Guys, your date excuses herself to the restroom a couple of times during the date and clearly did so to “freshen up” because she comes back with her hair fluffed or smoothed and she has a fresh coat of lip gloss on.  She is putting in some extra effort to look good which sends the message she cares what you think because she is interested in you.

Girls, your date put some effort into planning the date (reservations, a special table in the restaurant, washed his car) which shows he feels hopeful about your connection.  He is pulling out all the stops regarding being a gentleman (opening doors and pulling out your chair for you and maybe even getting up if you get up to leave the table).  He really wants to make a good impression in hopes of date #2.

Neither of you is checking your watch or your phone.  There is no push toward ending the date.  You both agree that you should order dessert. Clearly you are enjoying each other’s company.

There is laughter throughout the date.  You both are feeling comfortable and entertained.  Being able to laugh together is important.  First dates really should be light and fun.  The ability to make each other laugh is a true positive.  It also indicates you “get” each other’s sense of humor which is pretty important.

At the end of the date there is a mutual desire to give each other a hug and possible a kiss.  You’re both leaning into it and come away smiling.  You feel some sparks and there is a desire for more.  You are both making murmurings of date #2.  Very, very positive sign!

1. You saying good night after the first date and you ask “so what are you doing tomorrow?”  and act bummed out when your date says that he has other plans.
2. You’ve gone on a handful of dates with someone and feel the need to send text messages throughout the day to just “say hi.”
3. Your date hasn’t called back after the first date and after 2 days you call him and start questioning why he hasn’t called you. And you this questioning can either be direct, or passive aggressive, it’s still “grilling” and looks “needy.”
4. Your new “guy pal” has made it clear that he doesn’t not want any commitments, but you do, and you continue to be available when-ever he wants to get together, and to ask him out consistently even though he has turned you down repeatedly.
5. Even though it’s only date 3 you tell him that you’ve told your parents all about him and they’re looking forward to the introduction.
6. You agree with everything he says even though you have a different opinion, and it’s OBVIOUS!
7. Even though you’re feeling the love you decide that by date 3 it’s time to announce this feeling!
8. Even though you really like someone “more than a friend” and the feeling is not mutual you decide to be “just friends” just because you hope that he will change his  mind.
9. You are always available, and I mean ALWAYS.
10. You find yourself saying over and over “I CAN’T be happy without this person” and that you need to make it work no matter what.

For some this decision is very simple because they are extremely clear that they are not dating in order to make “friends,” they are dating to develop romantic connections and/or perhaps a relationship.  The attitude is “I have plenty of friends.”  These individuals have no interest in having hundreds of Facebook “friends” nor are they interested in having more people in their life that they need to keep up with via email and voicemail messages or met for lunch or drinks.  They sort of feel “what’s the point?” because what they want is a romantic relationship not a bunch of pen pals, pseudo friendships or buddies.  If they are spending time on these “friendships” or buddy relationships it takes away from time spent pursuing what they really want.

For others the belief is “don’t burn any bridges.”  They believe that any connection is a good one because you never know where or to whom it may lead.  These individuals may be of the mind set that each person you meet comes into your life for a reason.  It may be determined that this date wasn’t a “love connection” but he/she might have a friend, co-worker or family member to introduce you to.  If the two of you truly become platonic friends or basic contacts on Facebook then there is no reason you couldn’t be each others wing man/wing girl, right? 

Generally speaking we are more of the mindset of advising you to stay connected because you really don’t ever know how you might meet your next potential date.  And, if this individual is someone you genuinely liked then you might feel the same about his/her friends and/or family members who could be potential dates.  We encourage you to keep the contact casual and be sure it doesn’t interfere with you going on dates or meeting new romantic interests.

1. Suggest getting together on a weeknight versus the weekend. When thinking of going out on a date most of us think that the weekend is the best time because we don’t have to wake up as early in the morning and generally speaking for most people that is our free time. The problem with that is that our free time can be busy with “to do’s” and we may not be able to set aside that precious time for a first date. If you ask a girl out on a weeknight she also may be more likely to say yes since many people also plan out their weekends well in advance and a first date can really add some fun to a regular boring evening. Unless it’s Taco Tuesday her chances of being “available” can be greater than on a weekend.

2. Suggest more than one date (evening) as an option so you don’t box yourself in to a 50/50 chance. Say something like “Would you like to go out for coffee or a drink next week either on Wednesday or Thursday?”

3. Offer a couple of suggestions for locations like a coffee house or wine bar. Don’t make yourself soundtoo available so don’t say that you are open to getting together every night,  just the option of a couple of days. Busy is attractive but too busy can also be a turnoff. If she really does want to go out with you she will try to make time but sometimes a girl does have another commitment so try to give more than one option.

4. Don’t approach a girl that’s with a group of friends unless you absolutely have to. Try to wait until she is alone before asking her out. You both don’t need the added pressure of a bunch of people around to make you nervous or worse yet affect whether she says yes or no.

5. Pay attention to her body language (read our other blog article if stuck). Approach her if she looks approachable but don’t if she looks upset, angry or busy. And remember, it’s okay to ask a girl out over the phone but don’t leave a message asking her out and please don’t ask her out on a first date via text!

These tips should help your odds of getting a “yes” but don’t get down on yourself if she says no. There are plenty of fish in the sea and remember, it is a numbers game!

]]> http://www.yourdatingplan.com/blog/?feed=rss2&p=1990 http://www.yourdatingplan.com/blog/?p=1987 http://www.yourdatingplan.com/blog/?p=1987#comments Fri, 23 Mar 2012 14:10:23 +0000 admin http://www.yourdatingplan.com/blog/?p=1987 The weather is warming up, days are getting longer, people are talking about spring cleaning and the official first day of spring was this week so it is the perfect time to liven up your approach to dating.  The holidays are well behind us and it’s time to shake off the winter blues.  The need to stay indoors warm and cozy is gone.  No more movie nights on the couch!  This is the time of year that is conducive to meeting new people (i.e. potential dates) and to brightening up your love life by taking it outdoors.  Coincidentally, by getting outdoors more in the ways we are going to suggest can actually help with meeting new people.  This is a time of year to be more active.  So catch “spring fever” and try some or all of these spring activities.  They can all be a fit whether you are single or already in a relationship.

Spring skiing – hit the local mountains and enjoy the combination of snow and sun.  Either go with your honey or meet other singles on the slopes, in the lift line, in a hot tub in the evening or in the lodge after a great day of skiing.

Go for a hike – go with your main squeeze and have an adventure or join a singles hiking group and meet some people with similar interests.

Picnic – pack a basket of goodies and enjoy and outdoors with your girlfriend/boyfriend or plan a group picnic and have everyone bring a friend of the opposite sex that not everyone in the group knows to give everyone a chance to meet some new potential dates. 

Go to a baseball game – take in a day at the ball park either on a date or with a couple of friends.  You never know whose eye you’ll catch during the seventh inning stretch or in the concession stand line.

Take up a new outdoor sport – this is a great time for golf or tennis lessons.  You and your sweetie can do this together or if you’re single take some classes and keep an eye out for the hot guy/girl in your class or maybe even the instructor!

Spring has sprung so get outside and have some fun!