Dating Someone New During the Holidays??
The holidays can be pretty confusing when you are dating someone new. On one hand you may feel excited about the prospect of someone to share the holidays with, but on the other hand you’re unsure how to approach things like gifts, invitations to family gatherings and office parties and if you will spend New Year’s Eve together. You have visions of embarrassing conversations that include “umm, I, well, I didn’t know you were getting me a gift,” and awkward family gatherings where Grandma calls your new squeeze by your last girlfriend’s name. It’s easy to get caught up in the confusion, stress out and then miss out on the fun part. Before you embark on this festive time with your new like/love interest, take a little time to evaluate where you think this fledgling relationship is now and where you would like it to go. This assessment will help you figure things out like gifts and whether or not you invite him or her to a holiday party. If you have decided things are going well with your new relationship (if you are even calling it that yet!) and you would like to continue seeing this person as the New Year unfolds then here’s how to have a fun, romantic holiday season.
Gifts: Yes, you should get a gift. You do really like this person and this is the season of giving. Since this is a new relationship (3 months or less), don’t go overboard on the amount of money you spend. Make it something personal that shows you have been paying attention. If she loves going to yoga class then get her a pass at her favorite studio for a couple of classes or a stylish bag for her mat. If he is an avid golfer, consider getting him a nice golf shirt. The idea here is to show you put some thought into gift and to send the message that you see your date as someone special.
Family gatherings: Be aware of the message it sends when inviting and accepting invitations to meet someone’s family. This can come across a little too serious like “come over on Christmas and meet your future family.” Present it as low-key, light and festive. If possible, include a few other friends so it isn’t just you and your family and your date. Be careful with introductions like “mom, this is the girl I’ve been telling you about” which is awkward. If your coupling is not yet defined then stick with “mom, this is Susan.” This is not the time to use the term “boyfriend” or “girlfriend” for the first time! Avoid “this is my friend, Susan” because this could get you into trouble later when she interprets it to mean you are just friends. Keep it simple! If you have accepted an invitation to your date’s family gathering don’t go empty handed – be sure to bring a bottle of wine, a bouquet of flowers, chocolates or fresh baked goods.
Holiday parties with friends or co-workers: Many of the same guidelines apply from the tips about family gatherings. If it is your company holiday party or a party hosted by friends, be sure to tell your date about the attire as you want them to feel comfortable. Be on time! Make sure to introduce your date to your friends and/or co-workers. Don’t drink too much! This is a time to be at your best - you are in the midst of yours/your date’s inner circle! If you are attending your date’s holiday party and you are meeting friends and/or co-workers for the first time, you probably want to make a good first impression. You don’t want the first question asked of your date to be “so, how hung-over was he the next day?” Wouldn’t you rather they ask “where did you find such a catch?”
New Year’s Eve: Have a conversation about this with your sweetie. More than likely you have a sense about where you stand and if it makes sense to spend New Year’s Eve together. You certainly have a feel for how the other holiday festivities have gone. Make the plans together. Discuss various options. Being that this is a new romance, you may want to take a little pressure off and spend the holiday with a group of friends versus just the two of you. If things are more defined and you are both comfortable then pull out all the stops and make it a romantic, just the two of you kind of night.
Keep in mind, when the confetti settles after all these holiday parties, your friends and family may have some opinions about your new like/love interest. It’s okay to listen but remember that you are the one dating him/her!
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HAPPY HOLIDAYS!
Tags: christmas, dating advice, Hanukkah, holidays, men, New Year's Eve, parties, relationships, women