How Can I Avoid Ending up “Just Friends?”
There is that attractive guy at work, in your class or at the gym and you are trying to figure out how to let him know you are interested without being completely obvious, but direct enough so you don’t get put in the “friend” category. This can be a little tricky! This is someone you are going to see again so you want to avoid potential embarrassment. You have already said hello, made eye contact, smiled and maybe chatted a few times. You want to flirt enough so he sees you are interested in being more than friends but not so much so he thinks you just want to “hook up.” Yes, there is some risk involved here, but remember, nothing ventured nothing gained. Here are some tips to get your message across subtly, but not too subtly.
The direct approach – this is not for the faint of heart. The next time you see him tell him you are interested in getting to know him better and then ask him out for coffee or lunch. Now that you have stopped hyperventilating, remember I did mention this is not for those of you who are shy or introverted. This approach is for those of you who are a bit more assertive. What’s the worst thing that could happen? He tells you he is involved with someone or he says he isn’t interested. In either case, you move on with your head held high. You won’t go on wondering “what if” and he feels very flattered.
Here are a couple of options that are a bit more subtle:
The damsel in distress approach – smile and say hello like you typically do with this hottie, and then ask him to meet for a one-on-one study session because you need help understanding points from the latest lecture. Comment on his skills in the weight room and ask him to spot you while you lift some weights. Meet up after hours over drinks to discuss the latest company changes. Guys love to help, teach and guide you so give him an opportunity to flex his muscles literally or figuratively. Any of these settings will give you a chance to have one-on-one conversation and perhaps flirt a bit – laugh at his jokes, touch his arm when making a point/comment and smile.
Focus on him – if you treat him like one of your girlfriends you are going to end up in the friend zone. Do not talk about past relationships and what jerks guys are. If you whine and cry about guy problems and your dysfunctional family and basically treat this guy like your therapist, he is not going to view you as a potential date or even remotely sexy. You will come across as a scorned victim which is just not attractive. Talk about what is positive in your life and ask him about himself. Again, flirt to get your message across. Offer a sincere compliment. Don’t dress like a buddy, in your old sweats or like you are going to the office – dress like a girl, wear something that compliments you, wear a little perfume, etc. You get the idea.
How have you let that good-looking guy know you were interested? Please share your experiences and comments!
Tags: attraction, Dating Tips, flirting, tag: ed, tag: id, women