Why Do I End Up With Friends Who Are Girls Versus a Girlfriend?
Do women often describe you as a “really nice guy” or a great “guy friend?” Are the women who you find attractive often dating your friends? Do women confide in you about their problems with other men they are dating? Have you found out that your sexual orientation was called into question by a woman you went out with and you are 100% straight?! Listen, it’s great to be a person of integrity and to have the qualities of a solid friend but I’m guessing you don’t want to be celibate or stay single forever. Dude, you have to make a move!
When you meet a woman for the first time, it is important to get the message across that you are boyfriend or at least date material. First impressions are important. You’ve got to find the balance here so you don’t come across as too safe (puts you in the friend category) or too aggressive (might be seen as sleazy or desperate). Compliment her about something specific like her smile or her eyes. Avoid using descriptive words like cute, sweet, sexy and great. Go with beautiful, captivating or mesmerizing.
Be sure to initiate some fun conversation with her. Use some humor and a little sarcasm to create a special connection with her. Joke with her, tease her a little, and make playful innuendos. This type of banter takes you out of the flat, boring, formal interactions that you would have with a coworker or an acquaintance. When you have your first phone call with her you can continue building this rapport.
Don’t whine or complain about past relationships or dates. If you treat this woman like your mom or your therapist she is not going to view you as a potential date. In addition, don’t become the guy she starts sharing guy problems with. If she initiates this kind of topic, subtly yet quickly suggest a new topic or say something like “that’s sounds like it was a tough situation, I’m sure one of your girlfriends will have some great advice for you.” If you aren’t careful you will end up in the friend zone for sure!
Let her know you have a life. If she asks “what are you up to tomorrow?” be sure to have some plans to reference and then if you are interested in her, ask her for a date for a different day/time. Women like men who are assertive and who are socially confident.
You don’t always need to agree – don’t walk on eggshells, respectfully state your opinion even if it is different than hers. This is a recipe for interesting conversation, not disaster and it again demonstrates confidence which is very attractive. Always responding with “I totally agree” makes you seem like a doormat and in all honesty boring.
Keep in mind that not every woman you meet is going to be attracted to you. Despite your best efforts you may end up getting the friend card. It’s really okay; everyone has that experience at one time or another. Dating is after-all a bit of a numbers game. Dust yourself off, remember these tips and approach someone new. More than likely your odds are better off with someone new as opposed to trying to get out of the friend zone with someone and trying to get back into the romantic zone.
Please share your experiences and comments!
Tags: dating advice, Dating Tips, first dates, first impression, flirting, just friends, men, women