He’s such a nice guy; everyone loves him. He’s got a great job, he calls you every time he says he will, your friends think he’s great, he’s cute, funny, and you have a great time together. He’s perfect, except for one thing…. you’re just not feeling it. How can that be? What’s missing? Well, sometimes a guy can be Mr. Right on paper but when it comes down to it, something’s missing and you just can’t put your finger on it. Just keep in mind that every day you spend with the wrong guy is another day gone by when you aren’t available to the right guy. Here are some red flags you might want to pay attention to help you figure out just how into him you really are.

1. You think to yourself, if he just played a little hard to get or was just not as nice. If you want him to rework his personality in order to make him more attractive then you may not be that into him.

2. It doesn’t bother you when he doesn’t call and when he does you are in no rush to call him back. You find yourself not really thinking of him or missing him at all when you aren’t together. When you’re first dating a guy you are really into you think about him all of the time and your heart skips a beat every time he calls. You want to call him back right away even if you’re head tells you to play a little hard to get.

3. When you kiss him the sparks are somewhat lacking or you may even be distracted by what isn’t quite right with the kiss. You might think “Well no kiss is perfect” but remember when the chemistry is right, even though we all appreciate a good technique, it’s not necessarily the technique that makes your tummy tingle it’s the right guy that releases the butterflies.

4. You don’t talk about him to your friends. We don’t expect you to monopolize the conversation with your friends talking about your boyfriend, because girls do have other things to talk about, but you really don’t talk about him at all. It may feel like you don’t really have anything to say about him, hmmmm…

5. You find yourself telling him that you really aren’t looking for a serious relationship and you want things to be casual. You say you don’t mind if he dates other girls, and you mean it. Usually if you are really into a guy you don’t want him to date other girls, not only because we are competitive but also because we want a guy we really are into to be all ours and no one else’s. If you don’t really mind sharing him, then you probably aren’t that into him.

Please share with our readers other signs that you notice about yourself when you just aren’t into a guy!

During this time of year of parties, family, and romance if you are single you may be tempted to try a little harder when it comes to dating.  We are all for taking an extra step when it comes to dating but we do feel compelled to remind you of some do’s and don’ts that we standby in most situations.  Remember to think with your head.

Don’t recycle old boyfriends.  You may feel tempted to contact some ex’s to just say “hi.”  Well there is probably nothing “just” about it and if it didn’t work the first time, it won’t this time.  You’re better off picking a new fish from the sea rather than the one you threw back the first time.

Do feel proud to be single.  Even if you’re not totally feeling it take pride in your singlehood.  Keep in mind that just because the “grass may look greener” over on the couple side doesn’t necessarily mean that it is greener!

Don’t drink too much on your date.  This is especially important to remember during the holidays when libations seem to abound.

And since we are talking about drinking, don’t ”drink and hook up” at your office Holiday party.  We kid you not it does happen and when it does it leaves a trail of rumors, embarrassment, and gossip and that’s just for starters!  

Don’t date people who are unavailable.  This includes people who have a boyfriend or girlfriend or spouse.  Don’t fall for any excuse they give, just consider them off limits.

 Do stay positive and try to have a good time, even if it isn’t the greatest date you’ve ever been on.  Make the most of the moment and keep a positive outlook.  But if you aren’t having a good time at all don’t hesitate to end the date.  Your time is valuable and if you can’t wait for a date to end then end it early and don’t feel bad about it.

And remember our first date reminders - meet your first date in a public place.  Why take the risk of meeting in private when there are plenty of fun public venues for a first date.  Save the “intimacy” for another date.  Don’t drink too much especially during the holiday season when libations abound.  Don’t talk about your ex-boyfriend or girlfriend.  And, remember to LISTEN to your date as he or she talks.  

Have fun and happy holidays!

One of the trickiest and least talked about parts of dating someone new or at least “somewhat new” is how to figure out the right kind of gift to buy him or her without sending mixed messages.  Keeping it simple is important but simple can be tricky when it comes to trying to send the right message.  We have some pointers to help you figure out what kind of gift is the “right kind of gift” for that special girl or guy in your life.

When talking about buying gifts for your partner two general considerations are significant: how long have you been dating and are you exclusive?

If you have been dating less than 3 months. Relationships this new would warrant keeping the cost lower and under $50.   If you are exclusive, and both of you have agreed that you are, then this relationship might be heading down the road of “long term” and the gift should be a little more personal.  Find out what kind of music your partner likes and consider a CD that features his or her favorite artist or band.  Flowers are a great option for both guys and girls and guys are especially taken off guard and flattered when a girl buys them flowers.  Just make sure the type of flower sends the right message ie., red roses signify love, white and yellow roses signify friendship etc.  You don’t necessarily have to spend money on a gift because a homemade gift might be even more appreciated.  Consider baking cookies or a home-cooked meal that comes from the heart.

If you have been dating 3 to 9 months.  Since most short term relationships end before the start of the fourth month anything after that is heading for long term commitment and the tab can start going up and seen as an investment in the relationship.  Spend anywhere from $100 to $250 in 3 month increments; around $100 for relationships that are 3 - 6 months and around $250 for relationships that are 6 months to 9 months. Women love spa days so a gift certificate for a massage, pedicure or facial is always a welcomed present for that special woman in your life.  For all the ladies out there buying gifts most guys love mechanical gadgets so take a trip to your local Sharper Image and look at picking up the newest portable electric toy or tool (ask your salesperson for help). Or if your guy is an avid alumnae of his college check the campus online store for a personal gift that he would enjoy.

If you have been dating 9 to 12 months.  Spend more than $250 and less than $500.  There are many great gifts that you can get in this price range for a girl or guy that they might love.  A weekend getaway can be a great choice for either sex.  Again girls generally love to be pampered so a full spa day that she wouldn’t probably buy for herself might be really appreciated.  And for you girls out there who are stuck in trying to figure out that perfect gift for your guy try pair of prime seat tickets to his favorite sport if not with you then one of his guy friends.

The right gift for your new or long-term love interest can send the right message and impress him or her, and the wrong gift can well, definitely not impress.  Please share any other gift ideas or gifts gone bad with us and with our readers!

I’m sure that most guys know the basics of how to ask a girl out on a date but the real trick is to ensure that she says “yes!”  If we can help with a little advice to keep the odds a little more in your favor then we will!  Here are some tips that you might not have considered before but should increase your odds.

1.     Suggest getting together on a weeknight versus the weekend.  When thinking of going out on a date most of us think that the weekend is the best time because we don’t have to wake up as early in the morning and generally speaking that is our free time.  The problem with that is that our free time isn’t abundant so that may be our only free time and we may not want to set that aside for a first date.  If you ask a girl out on a weeknight she also may be more likely to say yes since many people also plan out their weekends well in advance and a first date can really add some fun to a regular boring evening.

2.     Suggest more than one date (evening) as an option so you don’t box yourself in to a 50/50 chance. Say something like “Would you like to go out for coffee or a drink next week either on Wednesday or Thursday?”

3.     Offer a couple of suggestions for locations like a coffee house or wine bar.  Don’t make yourself soundtoo available so don’t say that you are open to getting together every night,  just the option of a couple of days.  Busy is attractive but too busy can also be a turnoff.  If she really does want to go out with you she will try to make time but sometimes a girl does have another commitment so try to give more than one option. 

4.     Don’t approach a girl that’s with a  group of friends unless you absolutely have to.  Try to wait until she is alone before asking her out.  You both don’t need the added pressure of a bunch of people around to make you nervous or worse yet affect whether she says yes or no.

5.     Pay attention to her body language (read our other blog article if stuck).  Approach her if she looks approachable but don’t if she looks upset, angry or busy.

6.     It’s okay to ask a girl out over the phone but don’t leave a message asking her out and please don’t ask her out via text!

Remember that “no” means no so if she says it, she means it.  Cut your losses and move on to the next candidate.  After all it is a numbers game!

Please share all of your tips and advice with our male readers because we all could use a little help with the opposite sex.